There is nothing sweeter than seeing a new Dad and his baby. In this day and age, fathers play a much more active role with their babies than ever before. Years ago the husband took his laboring wife to the hospital and she was whisked away to deliver their baby while he was left pacing in the waiting room until the nurse came to tell him he had a new boy or girl! Not so today...men become involved in the birthing process the minute the little blue line says Pregnant! These days extended families are few and far between. Grandma doesn't live around the block anymore to help or give advice. Most new parents are left on their own.
But what could be better than being an actively involved new Dad! Doing everything from diapering, feeding, bathing, and their favorite thing, playing!
Sometimes new Dads are a little awkward and scared at first. After all, they have never done this before. Their new little bundle is so tiny and they are so big. With a little help from mom and a few how-to tips....Dad will be a Pro before he knows it!
The following tips will help any new Dad learn the ropes of baby care.
* Don’t be afraid to hold your tiny baby. Pretend you are gently cradling a football. Those big, strong but gentle hands make baby feel secure.
* There is nothing more comforting than the sound of the beating heart. So hold your baby close to your heart.
* During diaper changing, if your baby is four months or older, give him something to hold. Those little hands are quicker than you think and you don’t want him grabbing things down south.
* Remember to keep the baby’s diaper area covered when you are changing him. And keep your face at a distance. The law of gravity and a little boy’s aim will have you sprinkled in an instant!
* If you are going to give baby a bath, make sure to have everything you need before you place him in the water. Make a check-list for yourself; washcloth, towel, shampoo, diaper, clothes, and anything else you might need. And NEVER, EVER LEAVE THE BABY UNATTENDED. If the phone or doorbell rings, forget about it until you are finished bathing the baby. Nothing is more important than your baby’s safety.
* Don’t be appalled if your baby urinates in the bath. This is very normal as warm water is the perfect catalyst for total relaxation. Kind of like being back in the womb.
* If you are going to use powder, shake it in your hand then gently rub it on the baby. Never shake powder or anything else directly on the baby.
* If you’re not sure what to do in a situation with your baby, (feeding, burping, etc.), don’t be afraid to ask. Babies don’t come with instructions.
* When you’re out with your guy friends, ask them about their experiences with their babies. You don’t have to hug or call it a men’s group…just a guy’s night out. And they may share some tips you never thought of.
* Don’t be afraid to take your baby on an outing. Babies are very portable. It’s great stimulation and think of all the attention you’ll get!
* If you have to do errands with the baby, don’t plan too many stops. Things always seem to take longer when there is a baby involved.
* Don’t forget to take the baby bag when you go out. Packed with a change of clothes, diapers, wipes, bottles, formula, burp cloths, toys and an extra shirt for you, just in case!
* If you are on a tight schedule, make sure to leave some wiggle room for an unexpected diaper change or extra feeding.
* If you are on carpool duty and your baby is sick, please don’t take him to school Tylenol wears off in four hours and you will get that dreaded phone call to come and get him. Save yourself the aggravation and the fight with your wife. Keep him home. Meetings can always be re-scheduled.
* If your baby is having a cranky day and you are too, ask to be relieved from baby duty. If you can’t find someone to help, put him in the stroller or pack, go outside and take some deep breaths until you feel better. There is nothing wrong with taking a break.
* If a medical issue arises, calmly call the pediatrician. Babies are sturdier than you think.
* Don’t be afraid to act silly. Sing songs, dance, play games. The sillier the better. Your baby will love it and so will you!
* Please take good care of yourself. Being a healthy Daddy is the greatest gift you can give your family.
And most of all, be proud of your new role as a Dad. Marvel at this wonderful miracle you’ve created and take the time to enjoy each minute. Babies grow up fast and before you know it, the bus will be pulling up to take your “baby” to Kindergarten.
Wow…You’re expecting your first baby, what could be more exciting? Planning for a new baby is fun and decorating the nursery is even better, What kind of crib should you buy? Do you need a swing? Should you buy a high chair now or later? Questions, questions and more questions. There are so many products to choose from and each yearsomething new comes on the market that every parent thinks she must have.
The first rule of thumb when planning your nursery is to sit down and make a list of items you think you will need. Some of the items are must-haves. But it’s not always easy to know what will actually make you and your baby’s life simpler or what’s just the newest trend.
Once you have your list, set a budget and try your hardest to stick to it. You can buy baby furniture and equipment for as little as three dollars and up into the thousands. Many times you will find yourself returning items you thought you would need but realize aren’t necessary once the baby is born.
The following list will help you create a well-outfitted nursery for your precious baby.
Convertible Car seat with two bases(one for each car), to safely bring baby home.
Standard-sized crib. (30”x 54”)
Standard-sized crib mattress (27 ¼ “ x 52”) Organic crib mattresses are available.
You may also use a co-sleeper instead of a crib, if desired. This allows parents to have baby at arm’s reach but in her own bed.
Waterproof crib mattress pad
3 fitted crib sheets (28” x 52”) for standard crib.
Sleep positioner for crib.
Crib Bumper Set.
Musical crib mobile with remote for turning on and off
Glider, Rocker or big, comfortable chair.
Rozzie from Scottsdale says, “ having a big, cushy chair in the nursery allowed me to sit Indian style while feeding baby Dylan, making us both really comfortable.”
Armoire for storage if the room has no closet.
Changing Table or Chest of Drawers with Changing Pad on top.
Baby swing with a bed and seat attachment.
Musical bouncy seat with vibration and above-head toy attachment.
Baby positioner to cradle baby’s head and neck in swing, stroller or car-seat.
Exercise ball to help with a colicky or cranky baby.
Jill from Arizona says, “ Logan stopped crying as soon as I held him and gently bounced up and down, a real life-saver!”
Diaper pail and replacement bags, available in different styles.
Baby hamper.
Trash can.
3 binky’s and a Wubbanub™ or Binky Buddy™ safely designed to help keep the binky in baby’s mouth.
3 crib-sized blankets (45”x 60”) to cover or swaddle baby.
1 small and 1 medium sleep swaddler with Velcro for easier swaddling.
Baby nail clippers and small nail file. (filing works just as well on those tiny nails).
6 BPA-free baby bottles, bottle warmer, bottle brush and drying rack. Paula from Georgia says, “It’s great that baby bottles are now labeled as BPA-free and I know I am keeping babyRose safe.”
If nursing, breast pump, pads, storage bags or bottles and lanolin cream for soreness.
Diaper bag with changing pads and pockets to hold supplies.
Baby window shade for the car.
Attaching travel mirror to view car-seated baby in back.
Karen from New Jersey says, “having this mirror provided me with piece of mind. Knowing I didn’t have to turn around to see my baby made it safer for all of us.”
A few rattles and newborn toys. Young babies respond to the color red.
Camera
Thank-you notes.
More…Help! My Baby Came Without Instructions by Blythe Lipman. A great parenting book with quick and easy tips to help make that first year with baby a breeze! www.babyinstructions.com
You will need to purchase other items as your baby gets older. But the above list will give you a head-start and prevent unnecessary trips to the baby store during those first few months. Have fun and enjoy your new little bundle!
Hope this article finds you all enjoying the wonderful spring! Many of you will be celebrating Passover next week. There is nothing more challenging than taking your baby or toddler to a Sedar and expecting him to sit quietly for hours. I wanted to share some tips to make this holiday easier so you can all enjoy this special celebration! Happy Passover!
Passover is a great time to gather round the Seder table, share delicious food, sips of wine and recite the four questions. It is a wonderful time for families to get together and celebrate their Jewish heritage and traditions. What could be a more perfect place for the family members to meet and greet your bundles of joy! But “Oy” the noise, the “tumult” of this occasion! And in a child’s eyes, those beautiful prayers seem to go on and on and on. Sometimes it’s not so easy for adults to sit still and even more difficult to expect your infant or toddler to rise to the occasion without some preparation.
The following tips will help you and your children enjoy your Seder while creating wonderful memories that will make your heart smile!
• Seders commence after sundown so make sure your little one has had a nap before you arrive. Otherwise, staying up later than usual just won’t work with a tired baby or toddler.
• If your toddler doesn’t nap anymore, put him in his bed with some quiet books and music for a short rest time. Tell him how he will be able to stay up late like a big boy if he rests.
• Give your children something to eat before the celebration as it sometimes takes a couple of hours to get to the main course on Passover.
• Bring along your baby’s a bouncy seat, stroller or exersaucer so your hands will be free to eat the matzo and sip the wine.
• Bring some coloring books and crayons or paint with water books for your toddler. Ask him to make special pictures for the other family members. These are quiet and fun activities if he is too young to enjoy the Seder
• If your baby starts to cry when Uncle Lou is bouncing her on his knee, gently pick her up and thank him for playing with her. Try and stay calm as babies can sense any tension and will continue to cry.
• If you don’t want your baby passed around, put her in the bouncy seat, exersaucer or stroller.
• Bring a favorite video for your toddler to watch if he is too young to join the Seder festivities.
• Little tummies can be just as sensitive as big ones so don’t overdo the matzo!
• If you will be staying for the entire Seder, bring your baby dressed in her cute pajamas in case she falls asleep.
• Ask your toddler to pick out special pajamas to bring to the Seder just in case. It’s much easier to put a sleepy toddler to bed if he is all ready.
• Make sure your baby is dressed in a comfortable outfit. While those frilly dresses with matching headbands and miniature Doc Martens look adorable, after awhile they get hot and itchy.
• Clip-on ties and knee socks are really cute for pictures but don’t work for long. Make sure to dress your toddler in something comfortable. There is nothing worse than a whining, uncomfortable toddler.
• If you must introduce your baby and toddler in those cute dressy outfits, bring a comfortable change of clothes and don’t be embarrassed to use them.
• If you are going to be putting the baby to sleep during the Seder, Bring along the lullaby CD you play at home. There is nothing more comforting than those familiar tunes.
• If you will be leaving before the end of the Seder, make sure you alert the hostess ahead of time. Walking out in the middle of singing “Dayeynu” will only cause everyone to worry unnecessarily.
• If your baby or toddler is out-of-sorts on Seder day, it’s okay to leave them home with a sitter. While the family may be disappointed, there is nothing more heart-breaking or disruptive than hearing crying during the four questions.
• If you are hosting the Passover celebration at your home, hire a caregiver for the children so you can focus on your preparations. Don’t be afraid to ask for help.
• If your baby starts to cry because it is just too much, take her outside. The change in scenery is guaranteed to calm her down. Remember, well-meaning relatives can’t help getting excited over this new little bundle.
• Cherish each and every minute. Time passes quickly and before you know it your little bundles will be grown and standing on the Bema reciting their own prayers.
Enjoy your wonderful family celebration with smiles, laughter and love.
Hi all you great new parents. How are you? I trust you are all enjoying every minute with your new little bundle. I thought this month I would share a real situation that poor Bonnie had to face. As many of you have to go back to work(if you're lucky enough to still have a job), you have to think about putting your baby in a preschool or daycare setting. The story below along with my tips should help you all decide if you have picked the perfect place. Don't forget to e-mail me your questions and comments. And remember, my book makes the perfect shower or new baby gift! Have a great March!! Love......Blythe :-)
Dear Blythe, My beautiful four month old daughter Jessica, just started preschool and I’m just not comfortable with the infant room! I felt very good about my decision at the time of enrollment but now I am nervous every morning. Please help, this is all so new and scary. Thank you. Bonnie
Dear Bonnie, It is difficult enough to get up each morning and get yourself and your baby out the door without having to worry about preschool. You should have peace of mind and trust that your daughter’s everyday needs will be met in a kind and loving manner. Most infant rooms have six to eight babies even though the health department allows two teachers for ten babies. It is the teachers job to meet their needs in an efficient yet warm and loving manner and providing a stimulating environment for your baby to blossom and grow Your baby’s disposition should support the type of care she is receiving. If your gut says something is wrong, you have every right to question the teacher. You are the boss and the teachers are working for you. Just as in any business, being the boss gives you the right to ask for details if they are not clear. Don’t ever be afraid to ask questions when it concerns your baby’s well-being.
The following tips will help you gently acquire the detailed information you need. • At drop off, ask the teachers if they would mind giving you a quick phone call midday for a progress report for the first few weeks until you feel comfortable.
• If the phone call doesn’t allow enough time for details, request a time that is better for the teacher.
• If the teachers are unwilling to talk with you, talk to the director. Every teacher's job is to make each parent feel comfortable and provide the trust they need to leave their baby in their care.
• If a daily report doesn’t come home each day, request one. "We are too busy" is not acceptable.
• The health department requires a posted feeding schedule for each child. If you don’t see it, ask where it is.
• At drop-off, let the teacher know if your baby has any special needs for the day. Things can change daily with an infant. If you are met with any type of resistance, ask questions. Simple requests should never be a problem.
• Asking the teacher to keep your baby awake in the afternoon so she can nap at home is an unreasonable request. While it would be great, unfortunately your baby is not the only one that needs care.
• If possible, drop by for a visit when you know your baby won’t be sleeping and observe from the window. Seeing the great care she is receiving will make you feel better.
• Try your best not to enter the room during this visit. A parent walking into the room can be very disruptive to the teachers as well as the babies.
• Being told that you cannot observe without an appointment, is a big, red flag Show up anyway. Any preschool that has appointment only policy would make any parent feel uncomfortable
• At pick-up if your baby’s clothes are soiled or her diaper is wet, ask why. Sometimes a baby has just been changed and two seconds later she spits up. The daily report will reflect the time her diaper was last changed. Try not to assume the worst.
• If the school doesn’t provide a parent rooster, ask for one. Being in touch with other parents provides a great support system!
• While this is all new, patience is a virtue. There is a period of adjustment and “getting to know you” when your infant starts preschool. Try and relax during this transition. If after a month things are still not to your liking, this may not be the right place.
Tuesday, February 24, 2009
Bonding With Your New Baby While Staying in Love
2009 is here, the slate is clean. Time to begin again, how exciting! But having a new little bundle in your life means Everything is New!!! And there are no instructions! While having a baby is one of life’s greatest miracles, knowing what to do and having the confidence to act on your commonsense and intuition is not always easy.
In the hospital you had the security of the doctors and nurses to guide you through those first few hours and days. But let’s face it, the nurses bring your baby to you pre-swaddled with a ready-made bottle or a lactation specialist! If you’re lucky, they may even have time to show you the how-to’s. But once you get home, it’s a different story. You never thought you could be so tired! And sometimes you’re not even sure why you wanted to be a mother. Will you ever get the hang of this new job position?
Here are a few thoughts to help you master your new job:
When you first delivered your baby, no one talked about “bonding”. Every new mother thinks it’s just a given. You will instantly bond the minute you see your baby. At least that’s what it looks like at the movies! For some moms, immediate bonding doesn’t always happen-and that’s okay. Please don’t feel guilty if you don’t have that maternal bond the second the baby comes out. Remember, delivering a baby puts so much stress on your mind and body. It’s like running ten marathons. Along with possible obstacles such as long or difficult labors, c-section recovery, nursing issues, possible lack of spousal support, or simply conflicting feelings of motherhood in general can get in the way of the bonding process. Not only are your hormones on overdrive, but your adrenaline is off the charts. With all these changes happening, it may take a couple of weeks to be comfortable with yourself, your new job and most of all your baby. It doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby. And please, don’t think you are a “bad” mother. We are all different and adjust in our own time. The Baby Bonding Book: 50 Ways to Connect with Your Infant by Victoria Loveland-Coen is a wonderful read to help you and your baby connect. Be patient, all mom’s bond with their precious little bundles. If, however, you feel depressed, don’t be ashamed. Be pro-active and call your doctor. Two great books to help: This Isn’t What I Expected: Overcoming Postpartum Depression by Karen Kleiman and Valerie Raskin and Down Came the Rain: My Journey Through Postpartum Depression by Brooke Shields.
Bonding may not be the only challenge you face. Your new little bundle now demands your time almost twenty-four hours a day. The baby monitor is attached to your hip. You haven’t taken a shower in days and your shirt smells like spit-up. And what in the world are those grunting sounds your baby makes? You feel like you could jump out of your skin! Help! where are those baby instructions when you need them? It may take a month or longer for you to recognize your baby’s grunts, cries and breathing and know what they mean. Remember, this is all new for the both of you. Your baby doesn’t know you’ve never done this before. Just be patient and try to relax. Your baby will pick up on your stress and both of you will be crying. One of the most important tips to remember: when the baby naps, you nap too! The dishes, laundry, and bills will still be there when you wake up. There is nothing worse than sleep deprivation for new parents. It can make those small issues seem unmanageable. So Sleep when you can! If you are lucky enough to have grandma in town and she offers to keep the baby for a few hours or even overnight, take her up on it. This is the greatest gift you can give yourself and grandma. A solid block of sleep will make the world look like a brighter place! This is not the time to be Supermom! And Grandmas can never get enough of their her grandbaby.
Relationship? What’s that? Before the baby was born, your relationship with your husband was totally different. You just had each other and the freedom to do whatever you wanted without having to consider anyone else. Now…what a change! During those first few months, most new parents don’t have the energy to even think about going out, let alone talk about anything except the baby and what she does each minute of the day. It’s all so exciting! But don’t forget each other as a couple. And try even harder not to take out your cranky, sleep deprivation moods on each other. Once you get to know your baby and what to expect, the daily schedule may change, but your relationship is still the same. You are still two people who are deeply in love. It’s so important to put the effort into doing couple activities. When the baby is sleeping, do something simple. Order take-out food, light candles, turn on some soothing music and sit together for an uninterrupted meal. It will do wonders to remind you of your love. Make couple-time a once a week priority no matter how tired you may be. A happy loving couple equals, happy loving parents.
Life is showering you with many wonderful new experiences. Enjoy each and every one of them. Soon they will just be happy memories! Happy New Year!
Why Is My Toddler Different on This Night Than All Other Nights???
Question One: Why on this night won’t my toddler listen to me? Question Two: Why on this night does my toddler decide he doesn’t like Grandma? Questions Three Why on this night won’t my toddler sit in his booster? Question Four: Why on this night did I forget my toddler’s favorite stuffed animal?
This night is different from all other nights because it’s Passover! The charoset is chopped, the brisket smells great and the Afikomen is ready to be hidden. Passover is observed for seven days commemorating the freedom from two hundred years of Egyptian slavery. During these seven days we gather with our families to celebrate our Jewish heritage and traditions. But “Oy” the noise, the “tumult” of this occasion! And in a child’s eyes, those beautiful prayers seem to go on and on. While it’s not always so easy for adults to sit still, it’s even more difficult to expect your toddler to rise to the occasion without some preparation.
The following tips will help you and your toddler enjoy your Seder while creating wonderful memories for years to come!
• If your toddler is old enough, go to the library and get some books about Passover and read them together before the holiday.
• Make sure your little one has napped before the Seder. The festivities begin after sundown and staying up later than usual is tough for a tired toddler.
• If your toddler doesn’t nap anymore, put him in his bed with some quiet books and music for a short rest time. Tell him if he rests, he will be able to stay up late like a big boy.
• Give your toddler a snack before the celebration as it sometimes takes a few hours to get to the main course on Passover.
• If your Seder is not going to be at your home, ask your toddler to help pack a small bag with some quiet toys to bring along.
• A new coloring book and crayons or paint with water book is a great activity when your toddler can’t sit still. And something new is always exciting!
• Bring your toddler’s favorite video to watch if he is too young to join in the festivities.
• If your toddler is old enough to help. Let him.
• Show him how to mix the apples and wine together to make the charoset.
• When you talk about Elijah and the cup of wine, ask your toddler to open the door for him.
• If many people are attending your Seder and your toddler becomes clingy and won’t sit in his booster seat. Let him sit on your lap until he warms up to his new cousins. This is still very new for him.
• If Grandma tries to play with him and he is feeling shy, tell her nicely that he may feel a little braver after dinner.
• If your toddler still uses a sippy cup, special silverware, etc., don’t forget to bring them to the Seder. Having things from home in a new place makes for a happier toddler.
• Little tummies can be just as sensitive as big ones so don’t overdo the matzo even if that’s the only thing he will eat!
• Ask your toddler to pick out special pajamas to bring to the Seder just in case. It’s much easier to put a sleepy toddler to bed if he is all ready.
• Clip-on ties and knee socks are really cute for pictures but don’t work for long. Try to dress your toddler in something comfortable. There is nothing worse than a whining, uncomfortable toddler.
• If your toddler doesn’t want to wear his special outfit to the Seder, sometimes it’s not worth the fight.
• If you must introduce your toddler in his special Passover suit, bring a comfortable change of clothes and don’t be embarrassed to change his outfit.
• If you plan to leave before the end of the Seder, make sure you alert the hostess ahead of time. Walking out in the middle of singing “Dayeynu” will only cause everyone to unnecessary worry.
• If your toddler is out-of-sorts on the first day of Passover, leave him home with a sitter. While the family may be disappointed, there is nothing more disruptive than hearing a toddler having a tantrum during the four questions.
• If you are hosting the Passover celebration in your home, hire a caregiver to entertain your toddler while you get everything ready for your Seder.
• If your toddler decides to have a full-blown temper tantrum during the middle of the Seder. Gently take him to another room until he calms down. While you might just ignore this at home, presenting a dramatic play during the Seder will not get a standing ovation!
• Relax and Cherish each and every minute no matter how chaotic. Time passes quickly and before you know it your toddler will be grown up and standing on the Bema reciting his own prayers.
For tips on Surviving the Passover Seder with your New Little Bundle visit:
Enjoy your wonderful family celebration with smiles, laughter and love. Happy Passover
Dear Blythe, I just had a baby and I am so tired. My baby gets up every two hours and won’t stop crying. I don’t know who is crying more, me or my baby. My problem is my mother-in-law. She insists on telling me what to do, how to do it and wants to come over everyday. She calls five or six times a day to see what the baby is doing. How do I gracefully let her know that I am the mother? Her constant visits, phone calls and chatter are really upsetting me? This is her first grandchild.
Dear Jill, It is difficult enough to ease into your new role as a mother without having other people tell you what to do. While I am sure your mother-in-law means well, she probably doesn’t remember how stressful it was to have a new baby. Here are some suggestions that may help.
· Buy Grandma a special book like: “100 Reasons Why I Love Grandma” by Gregory E. and Meagan Lang or “Chicken Soup for the Grandparent’s Soul” by Jack Canfield. It will make her feel good.
· Designate a certain time or day that Grandma can spend time with the baby. Tell her it will be her special time to not only help you, but to get to know the baby. Make your husband aware of this special arrangement. It will make Daddy happy.
· Tell Grandma not to worry if you don’t answer the phone when she calls. The baby’s needs come first and you or her son will call her back when you have finished caring for the baby.
· Ask Grandma to visit when you will be home and can take a nap, make phone calls, etc. while she takes care of the baby. This is every new Grandma’s Dream!
· If you are nervous about Grandma feeding the baby (unless you are nursing), plan a time when the baby just needs to be held, until you feel more comfortable with her caring for your baby.
· When Grandma gives you her advice, just smile and say thank you. While she only wants to help, you are the mother and can do what you feel is best.
· If you want Grandma to do things a certain way, show her how you do it.
· Remember, sometimes Grandmas give unsolicited advice because they are nervous. It has been many years since they had a tiny baby and they only remember how they used to do it.
· Show her all the new gadgets they make for the baby these days. She will be amazed that there are so many products to make life easier and that you know how to use them.
· While Grandma is with the baby, take lots of pictures and make copies. Grandmas love to show pictures to their friends!
· If you absolutely can’t deal with Grandma’s advice, arrange a visiting time when Daddy is home and you’re not. Or have Daddy take the baby to Grandma’s for a visit.
Just remember, new Grandma’s are very proud. There isn’t anything better than being a Grandma. They are excited, nervous and want to spend every second they can doting on that new little bundle that her son produced! Try and be patient with her. The above tips should help take the strain off those first few months and set up a healthy arrangement for all.
